Combating The Female Orgasm

The female orgasm is a wonderful and sensational event. Reaching the climax is unarguably the best part of your routine whether that be through masturbation or sex. Unfortunately, it seems as though women have a much harder time reaching an orgasm than men. While some women crave to have an orgasm every time they have sex with a partner, others find the climax to be an act of vulnerability that should be avoided at all costs because of the loss of control they have on their bodies in that moment. For both partners, they are focused on making the other have a pleasurable experience and making sure they reach orgasm. However, only about 38% of women ages 18-24 usually have an orgasm during sex. But, there are a lot of factors that can play into a woman not reaching climax. 

Mental Health

Anxiety, stress and depression can definitely hinder anyone’s ability to orgasm during sex and it was found to be significant with women. Not having concentration during sex whether it is to help you or your partner orgasm is a factor that comes into play.

Sexual Experience

Being with the same partner is positively associated with a woman reaching orgasm. In fact, women who are married and usually experience orgasms is over 50%. It is not surprising that women in new relationships have a harder time reaching orgasm than women who have been with a partner for many years. This could be due to openness and vulnerability between partners

Relationships

Women in happy relationships are more likely to orgasm more than those who are unhappy in relationships. Three-fourths of women who are happy in the current relationship and rated sex as very important were able to reach orgasm during their last intercourse.

Stimulation

Knowing which stimulation works best for you can help you reach your climax. The three points of interest are the clitoris, vagina and nipples. More than 50% of women are able to reach climax through stimulation of the clitoris and vagina.

Techniques and Positions

The length of sex can contribute to reaching orgasm. Having intercourse for a minimum of 15 minutes can help women achieve orgasm rather than if it was shorter. Longer intercourse also has the ability for women to have multiple orgasms. Positions during sex have also shown that active women who are on top and use several positions are able to achieve orgasm much easier. Engaging in oral or manual sex can also help promote orgasms. Although there is a stigma around asking to be “eaten out”, just ask your partner!

Sexual Self-Esteem and Communication

These two factors go hand in hand in that you should believe you are good in bed, and you should be able to have open and honest conversations about sex with your partner. By having good sexual self-esteem you are much more likely to reach orgasm. You also are able to concentrate solely on having sex and have learned to accept yourself. Good sexual self-esteem leads to less stress and being more aroused. Having these open and honest conversations about sex with your partner, whether it’s about how to get each other to orgasm, what you like and don’t like or any other sexual difficulties also leads to positive sexual self-esteem.

Other factors

In any study, there are going to be factors that contribute, but are not extremely significant. These included vaginal dryness, illness, erectile problems, and sex that lasted a maximum of five minutes.

“In short, a relationship that felt good and worked well emotionally, and where sex was approached openly and appreciatively, was associated with orgasmic capacity. These same factors were even more pronounced among multi-orgasmic women” (Kontula, Miettinen).

Source: Kontula, Osmo, and Anneli Miettinen. “Determinants of female sexual orgasms.” Socioaffective neuroscience & psychology vol. 6 31624. 25 Oct. 2016, doi:10.3402/snp.v6.31624