On Simping
In modern Gen Z dating culture, everyone is afraid of being a SIMP. Essentially, everyone is afraid of crushing hard or paying extreme attention to the people they like. And in the moments when people crush hard, they often will immediately regret showing any vulnerability or weakness, or “begging” for someone who wasn’t worth it. But to be honest, who isn’t it worth it for? Is the only point to dating finding someone who will say yes? Is it better to put effort into the romances we want to secure or stay in the safe zone and prevent a simping disaster?
When I think about the people I personally have romantically rejected, it wasn’t because of anything they were doing wrong, but just because my mind was elsewhere. Maybe we’ve all seen too many perfect fairytale happy endings, but I think that somewhere in recent time we have all—me included—begun to take romantic rejection way too personally. And in the process of this, we’ve grown afraid to take a leap of faith and openly crush hard. We’ve grown afraid of simping.
But don’t we all crush hard in secret? Maybe it’s because of the four libra placements in my astrological chart, but I know that I do. And if we’re all doing it in secret, what is so bad about going for the real thing? What is so wrong and horrendous about making yourself available? I for one think that a world with no simping sounds much worse than a world where everyone has a big fat crush that they can’t stop talking about. When too many of us have begun to play the hard-to-get game, less and less of us will get to experience authentic romantic connections.
In the case that you do simp, the worst thing that could happen is romantic rejection. The best thing that could happen is the romance of your dreams. So why not just go for it? Simping has such a bad reputation in Gen Z for no good reason. There is no good reason to feel guilty for having a big crush, and there is no good reason to feel ashamed of emotional vulnerability. Being open about your feelings is a huge step towards happiness and acceptance of yourself. Guilt surrounding vulnerability is overwhelmingly trivial.
As anyone with relationship experience could tell you, the key to a healthy relationship is communication and comfort in vulnerability. Learning to be vulnerable in the small things like dating and crushes can actually lead to healthier relationships in the long run.
'So get comfortable, and go for your crush! We do not have time to waste here pretending that our big fat crushes are not all-consuming beautiful emotional masterpieces. Especially as the vaccines continue to roll out and normal life slowly returns, simp all you want! It just might work out for you.
