I think Valentine’s Day was at its peak for me when I was in elementary school. Exchanging candy and little notes with my friends at school felt like the most exciting thing in the world. By the time I got to high school, it wasn’t quite as exciting. At this point, Valentine’s Day manifested itself more clearly in my eyes as a capitalist scam, even though I still thought the teddy bears were really cute. 

I don’t necessarily think Valentine’s Day is a bad thing; showing special affection and care towards the people you love is really honorable. I just believe that Valentine’s Day does too good of a job at making single people, queer people, or anyone that strays from monogamous ideals, feel like they’re doing something wrong. 

There are a lot more people in your life you can show affection to than a significant other, and I for one think Valentine’s Day should be about celebrating love in every sense of the word, not just romantic love. In Estonia and Finland, Feb. 14 is known as “Friend’s Day” in celebration of platonic love. I think that finding love in companionship is just as, if not more important, than finding love with one or multiple romantic partners. 

Especially on Valentine’s Day, we’re constantly told that singlehood is a flaw. However, the overwhelming majority of people in our society are single. The media make it seem as if it’s impossible to be happy and content on your own. Yet, relationships are only one aspect of our lives. There’s so much more to strive for in life than romantic love. I believe that striving for your own happiness is way more important. 

This holiday also pushes heteronormative monogamous ideals of what relationships are supposed to look like. Practically all of the advertisements for Valentine’s Day feature a straight exclusive relationship. And if your romantic life strays from this nuclear family ideal, the media makes it seem like you’re failing. The way that society narrates a “perfect” relationship is extremely narrow-minded and unhealthy. A holiday that’s supposed to celebrate love should not revolve around a small box of what love is supposed to be. 

I don’t think Valentine’s Day needs to completely come to an end, the media just needs to abandon its exclusionary tendencies so that the holiday can truly be for the benefit of everyone. Love is all around us, and love exists in more than just straight monogamous romantic relationships.