How the Patriarchy Punishes Women with Emotions
For much of her career, it was common culture to hate Taylor Swift. She was considered “annoying” and constantly mocked by media outlets for having “so many boyfriends.” To be clear, she’s only had six official relationships in her life. But it should not matter.
Regardless, she was publicly scrutinized for every person she dated, everything she wore, and every emotion she included in her music. During years in which she struggled with an eating disorder, Taylor was mocked for being too skinny. During her public conflict with Kanye, she was labeled a “snake” by the media, forcing her to disappear from the public sphere altogether. However, Kanye was allowed to degrade her in his song “Famous,” claiming “I feel like me and Taylor might still have sex / Why? I made that bitch famous.” Kanye’s petty and disgusting retaliation went undiscussed among media outlets, but Taylor’s behavior was endlessly criticized.
This sort of public hatred towards political, outspoken, or emotional women is not new. At a 2003 “Dixie Chicks” (now The Chicks) concert in London, singer Natalie Maines expressed her distaste for President Bush. She explained that she was, “ashamed the President of the United States is from Texas” amidst a time when the United States was gearing up to attack Iraq. In response, Maines and The Chicks were blacklisted. Within a week, country music radio stations began to ban the group’s music, as well as publicly destroy their albums. America-loving (and misogynistic) country fans hosted parties to smash The Chicks’ albums and merchandise. The backlash was immediate and severe and, as quickly as they’d risen to stardom, the three women were erased from the country charts.
So, why did we torture Maines so? And why do we continue to treat Taylor in the same manner? Taylor is an incredibly accomplished artist, making a name for herself in the music industry at just sixteen years old. She was the youngest artist to ever write and sell a country album, and she’s written all nine of her award-winning albums. Taylor has won 10 Grammy Awards, 29 American Music Awards (a record), 23 Billboard Music Awards… the list goes on. She’s clearly a talented and accomplished artist, in the same league as legends like Madonna and the Beatles. How could she be so widely despised?
Unfortunately, the answer lies in patriarchal attitudes. While men in the public sphere are allowed to have a multitude of partners - many of these partners much younger than themselves - women are held to a different standard. Women are expected to remain untouched and pure, and, if their relationships don’t work out, it must be the woman’s fault. Male artists are also allowed to convey emotion in their music while women are mocked for the same expressions of pain and hardship. When it comes to teenage girls, emotion is especially mocked or considered trivial. In her songs, Taylor would openly discuss who had wronged her and how her relationships made her feel. For those indoctrinated by patriarchal sentiments, these emotions were a sign of
weakness. We are taught to hate these emotions in women: sincerity, pettiness, confidence. And, because teenage girls are so commonly scrutinized for these emotions, it was easy to villainize sixteen-year-old Taylor early on, and then throughout her career. But, as of a few years ago, she has begun to speak out on the double standards she faces.
In “The Man,” one of her singles on her album Lover, Taylor explains some of her frustration with how men are treated in the industry vs. how she is treated. She even touches on sexual assault and the disproportionate amount of women who are assaulted, but dismissed: “when everyone believe ya / what’s that like?” During this time, Taylor also donated to Kesha, in order to support her abuse lawsuit against Dr. Luke, Kesha’s former producer.
Taylor’s 2017 album, Reputation, was her comeback album. She wrote the album to reclaim her public image and, during Reputation’s tour, “and in the death of her reputation, she felt truly alive” appeared on a screen behind her. Since then, Taylor has been incredibly outspoken about her frustrations with patriarchal attitudes, as well as her anti-Republican political beliefs. This has continued to anger more conservative audiences, but she couldn't care less.
Unfortunately, Taylor’s confidence and outspokenness has not broken the timeless trend in hating on young, female artists. Popular media has fallen into the same patterns with artists like Olivia Rodrigo. Rodrigo writes about heartbreak and insecurity in romantic relationships, similar to the content of men like Harry Styles, Shawn Mendes, or Conan Gray. But, these men are not subject to the same scrutiny that Rodrigo is. Recently, critics on social media have picked apart her personal life, attempting to identify every partner alluded to in her music. Rodrigo’s also been criticized for being a “crazy ex” for including details about how past partners have treated her in songs like “Drivers License” and “Good 4 U.”
Still, young women are punished for tumultuous teenage emotions, or for simply being in relationships that did not work out. They are criticized for being vulnerable or confident, honest or hurt. And, until these patriarchal attitudes are dispelled from the public sphere, female artists will forever face hatred that men avoid.
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