Witch 101: Graveyard Etiquette
Photograph of the Glasgow Necropolis by Jen Marchese
It’s always been cool to hang out in cemeteries, whether you’re a witch, a goth, or just a disciple of the late, great Mary Shelley, but a lot of people have concerns about respecting the dead when you’re chilling with your coven. For this week’s Witch 101, here are some Dos and Don’ts of vibing in graveyards.
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DO Bring Offerings for the Spirits
Every cemetery has a spirit known as a Gatekeeper that acts as a protector and watches over the other spirits buried there. This is typically the first spirit buried in that graveyard, and it is always a good idea to bring an offering. One of the more common offerings is coins, but you can also bring flowers, herbs, bread and other baked goods, liquor, or apples. Be sure not to bring anything meant for cleansing or banishment, because that’s like, totally rude! If you don’t have anything physical to bring, other acceptable offerings include music and simply just cleaning up the entrance to the cemetery.
DON’T Take Anything From The Graveyard Without Permission
There’s a common phrase, “If you take from a graveyard, you’ll leave more than you took.” It’s very ominous but it’s a good rule of thumb. Many witches will want grave dirt or similar items from a graveyard, but it’s always important to ask spirits before you take from their resting place. Good methods of asking spirits simple questions are pendulums and meditation.
Photos by Maddy Ernst
DO Clean Up Any Headstones You Visit
Any graveyard visitor will always notice a handful of old, forgotten headstones, especially in older cemeteries, and it’s always a good idea to clean up any you see. You don’t necessarily have to power wash the marble, although I guess you could, but generally you should try to wipe off any loose dirt or fallen leaves. Just be sure not to disturb any gifts left by the living! Make sure you don’t use any abrasive or wire brush, be as gentle as possible with the headstones.
DON’T Litter.
Littering is never cool. Ever. I mean, how would you feel if I came into your house and left a bunch of candy wrappers and cigarette butts around your living room? Be cool to the spirits and they’ll be cool to you. And if you see any trash around pick it up!
Photograph by Jen Marchese
DO Try to Stick To Grave Sites That Are Over 100 Years Old
A general rule of thumb in the magick community is to primarily visit “retired” graveyards, which are cemeteries that are no longer open to new burials. Further, it’s considered respectful to only hang out at grave sites where the person was buried at least 100 years ago. Not only is it respectful to the person buried there, it’s also a precaution to avoid disturbing a site that’s frequently visited by the deceased’s family and friends.
DON’T Use Mirrors
There’s a lot of old superstitions regarding cemeteries, like not wearing anything new or not taking photographs, but one that most people still seem to follow is avoiding bringing mirrors into a cemetery. Mirrors are devices that blur the lines between the physical and spirit world, as many witches well know, and they can be used for scrying or other rituals involving spiritual contact. (NOTE: Rituals involving spiritual contact are highly dangerous and not to be attempted by baby witches. Seriously, just don’t.) Old tradition states that you should cover mirrors in the home of the dying and deceased because their soul could become trapped in the glass and render their spirit unable to cross over, and the same applies to cemeteries.
DO Be Respectful of Other Visitors
One of the most important rules in a cemetery is to be respectful of the other living people. Graveyards all have their own sets of rules set by their caretakers, and these typically include things like keeping your volume down, controlling any children you may have with you, and generally just not disturbing the public.
Photo by Jen Marchese
DON’T Step On In-Ground Graves
Lots of cemeteries have in-ground grave markers instead of headstones, and when walking through the grass you should ALWAYS be cautious of where you step. If you do accidentally step over someone’s burial site, apologize, and leave them a gift if you have one. If there are paths, try to stick to them!
DO Play Nice With Spirits
It’s always important to be kind to the spirits of the graveyard. Each cemetery has a center that all the energy gravitates towards, and not only will that be the best place to communicate with the spirits, it’s the best place to perform any kind of magick you may have been planning on taking part in. Plus, if you plan to hang around one specific gravesite, it’s always a good idea to bring more offerings for the spirit(s) buried there.
DON’T Sit On Headstones
It’s the same principle as littering, would you want someone random climbing all over your roof? Just be respectful, kids. Plus, lots of headstones are suuuper old and are prone to cracking and breaking, and you could seriously injure yourself, which would not be fun.
Folklore across the globe has given us thousands of rules to follow when communing with the dead, and it varies from culture to culture. It’s important to note that
Photograph by Maddy Ernst
the majority of these rules that I’ve mentioned come from Western traditions of post-mortem respect and different kinds of graveyards will likely have spirits that respond differently to different rules.
Again, this is not a hard and fast list, and when visiting a cemetery specific to a certain culture or religion it’s always a good idea to follow their customs and respect their spirits the way they would have wanted to be respected in life. Happy haunting!
